Monday, December 1, 2008


First, I really have to say thank you - truly & genuinely, to anyone and everyone who has wished me well, offered me hope and told me to hang on. Whether I know you well or barely at all, it means a lot to me. Sincerely. 

In the midst of all the chaos that I'm feeling, I found myself pouring out my thoughts through words (big surprise...) and the following bit of writing is the result. I hope, that by getting it out, talking about it, and having such an amazing support group, things will in fact get better in time, just like I've been told.  Hopefully sooner than later - I really want to laugh again and feel like I mean it. Merci Beacoup mes amies, merci beacoup <3

She feels sick when she thinks of how she lost her way
She blinked and the sun disappeared
Fog rolled in, snuffing out the light of day
& she couldn't hold on to the things she held so dear
Searching in a darkness, wishing it weren't real
Spinning, spinning, falling faster
The permanence proven with a crystal tear
She dreams in nightmares and wakes with recollections
Breathes with a pain she's sure won't heal
She tries to grasp the rainbows from her past
the shooting stars that glittered like Princess Jewels
but she knows she's not the same
It's air she touches now
cold and vacant - nothing there
She has to find the person she used to be
turn back and face the true meaning of "me"
She can't get lost in the emptiness that echoes within
but she doesn't think she's strong enough
This dreary sky - darkened with sadness
missing the sun - it makes her hopeless
Where there was caution, now there's fear
She's worried she can't make her way back
worried she won't like what she sees
Will the door be shut against the bone chilling breeze?
It follows her now - swirling, screaming, rushing, reminding
billowing, biting, losing,




Chiara said...

Good luck.

Charmaine said...

Sometimes your heart has to break to let in that for which you were meant.

Cheer up Lassie. You're young, beautiful, talented and intelligent.

But I know how you feel. I'm going through something similar myself. Ug. It sucks to forlorn at 47.


Rachel Tamed said...

Some smart person once told me that all suffering is worthwile so long as you can turn it into good writing - I think you will be just fine!